Our physical energy renewal was based on four factors, nutrition, breath, physical activity, and recovery. They re-energized the body on a physical level, and depending on the depth of our interest they may or may not have provided an emotional energy renewal.
For example a dinner in front of the TV, even if shared with someone else may not provide an emotional energy renewal. You may need an undistracted meal, paired with in depth conversation in order to feel emotional renewal. But someone else may be fine having dinner in front of the TV with someone if they both really enjoy the show and the shared experience.
Similarly, one person may begrudgingly walk their dog just long enough for the dog to poop and hurry home. While someone else may see a dog walk as an opportunity to bond with the animal and may get great emotional renewal from the walk.
We are all different and we all need to find ways to emotionally renew ourselves. Our emotional energy reserve is derived from positive emotions and is a key to sustained performance.
David Snowdon is an epidemiologist who studied 678 aging nuns. His interest was on factors that effects the onset of Alzheimer’s disease. Studying essays the nuns had written when they joined the order in their twenties, Snowdon found an amazing correlation between the nuns who were optimistic and those that were pessimistic. Those that focused more on positive emotions lived longer, happier lives and were less likely to develop Alzheimers.
John McEnroe was one of the most colorful personalities in tennis. He was famous for his spontaneous bursts of anger over his performance or a disagreement with an official. In a legendary match with Ivan Lendl at the 1984 French Open, McEnroe was off to an early lead but ultimately lost the match by getting angry in what he calls, “the worst loss of my life.”
Learning from this mistake he made it a point to control his emotions during his next tournament for his first win at Wimbledon.
In comparing his sports longevity to Jimmy Conners something interesting emerges.Both were world champions by every measure, but McEnroe was retired by age 34 and Jimmy Conners who truly enjoyed playing remained competitive and did not retire until age 40.
When we have positive emotional experiences it is important to allow ourselves to enjoy the moment without foreboding joy. This is the anticipation that it must end. This is largely driven by our cultural experience in which the government and news have focused on fear and anger for decades. In one study 60% of participants were able to normalize their blood pressure and get off medication simply by not watching the news for three months. Other studies have shown that just 14 minutes of news causes sadness and anxiety.
In my case I love my dog. And sometimes when I find myself enjoying his company I catch myself thinking “I have to enjoy this now because some day he is gonna die.” Rather than simply enjoying our time together. This is foreboding joy.
My real fear isn’t that he’s going to die, my real fear is that if I soften into to moment that when he dies it will be harder on me. I’m afraid of being truly vulnerable to joy, to admit to myself that no matter how much I predict, and talk about it, I will still miss him when he’s gone. If you have ever loved someone or something so intensely that you too have pictured horrible things happening to them, you know what I’m talking about.
When negative thoughts seep into our mind parading around like armor we’ll remember those nuns and reconnect our why. Negative thoughts really degrade our life quality and quantity. Emotional energy will not only fuel us to high level performance, but also energize us for a long and happy life.
It is essential to have sources for emotional renewal. It is important to recognize when you are emotionally rundown and need to recharge. And it is essential to enjoy the moment without anticipation of it ending.
To help you savor every joyful moment try implementing a gratitude practice. There are several ways to do this, gratitude journal, sharing with family or friends what each of you are grateful for, or try Martha Beck’s treasure chest exercise. Think of 15 things you appreciate in others and 15 things you appreciate about yourself. It’s okay if it’s hard at first. Like all new skills it’s awkward and unfamiliar, but as you practice it becomes easy, fluid, and well of positivity.
This is an excerpt of the RESOLUTE online weight loss and metabolic repair course inspired by the work of Dr. Ray Peat, Dr. Broda Barnes, Dr. Brene Brown, Dr. James Prochaska, Dr. Martha Beck, Dr. Judith Beck, and Dr. Hans Selye.
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